Blood will Flow

I had a video skype session with my parents this afternoon and since our last call just a few days ago, Dad's fallen at least three times. Mum was busy telling me about it and while doing so discovered his latest fall-injury, a scraped ankle. Of course he'd told her he was fine - the scraped ankle was while hoovering (again!) after beeing told not to touch the hoover while Mum went out. Of course she came back into the house to find him vacuuming. I suppose it was lucky he didn't fall over until after she got back.

But the best one (and I admit, me and Mum were both giggling over this) was this morning, at 7:30 Mum heard an ominous thud. She got out of bed and looked in their bathroom, but couldn't see anything, so her second thought was oh no, not the stairs again... So she went out of the bedroom and checked the stairs - nothing. Eventually she went back to the bathroom and discovered he'd fallen into the bath. Apparently he'd just lost his balance and staggered backwards into the tub... Of course it took over half an hour to get him out again - Mum had to bring in a couple of chairs for him to hang on to because he's a stocky little bloke and too heavy for her to lift. And of course somehow or other he stood on one of the chairs and fell back in.

We decided they need a portable crane in the house, and Dad needs to wear a harness all day so when he falls down Mum can just wheel in the crane, hook him up and winch him upright again.

Fecking hilarious.