A pair of drabbles

[amberdreams]

These both came from the same head space...and it's fairly angsty.

The Heart of Darkness
***********
E/O Drabble Challenge: word count 100
Challenge word: dip
Warnings:  None
Summary: Dean and Sam’s experiences of Hell and loss are not so different.  In the end, there is only one thing that really matters.

***********
Dean looked into the heart of darkness, and darkness looked right back.  It dipped its talons deep into the heart of him and tore.
Rent apart, scattered, bleeding.  Lost.
Castiel saw deep into his soul.  How Dean believed he didn’t deserve to be saved.
Dean was wrong.

Sam fell into the heart of darkness thinking he could control it.  Using blood and rage and the power of his grieving.  He tried and failed.  He believed sacrifice would save him.
Sam was wrong.

All that mattered was the fire of brotherhood that welded them together.
It was all that ever mattered.

0x0x0x0

Left Behind
***********
E/O Drabble Challenge: word count 100
Challenge word: dip
Warnings:  None
Summary: A little dip into Sam’s head after Dean’s Hell deal and his disappearance into Purgatory.

***********
Here’s the thing about Dean. 

He is never the one who leaves.

So when Dean dies every Tuesday, when he sells his soul, when the Hellhounds come for him, Sam can’t believe it’s real.  He’s never been the one watching while Dean walks away.

That first time makes Sam crazy.  Then it makes him mad.  Dark rage consumes him, burns him up.

The second time Dean leaves him, in that laboratory when Roman’s gleaming smile explodes on them, Sam has no reserves left to dip into and he falls apart.

He can’t be the one who’s left behind.  Not again.

***********

Comments

[amber1960.livejournal.com]

Thanks - and certainly Dean never intentionally walks away, but he has been taken away from his brother, and I don't think Sam copes at all well when that happens...

It's my explanation for why Sam never looked for Dean - I don't think he was capable of it, when Dean disappeared, it broke Sam.

[dolnmoon.livejournal.com]

Also, he had no clue where to start looking because he had no idea where Dean went or if he was even alive. He thought Dick Roman was obliterated and so might have been Dean along with him.

Sam tries so hard to be independent but for all of it, he needs his brother to truly cope. He can move on, he can find other things and occupy his time but Dean is rope that keeps him tethered.

Everyone says about Jess and his time at standford but really if he was truly happy at school, even after Jess he would have gone back and resumed a life away from hunting which he professes to hate to much. He could have left Dean and had a normal life again but it was Dean that kept him from doing that.

Sorry for the long meta reply.

[amber1960.livejournal.com]

I like that - Dean is the rope that keeps him tethered. Like Sam's a hot air balloon and it the rope is cut he will just float away.

[dolnmoon.livejournal.com]

Dean is Sam's rope and Sam is Dean's reason for everything he does. They are stone one and they build on that.