A message for Dreamweaver's friends!
Oct. 2nd, 2015 07:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amberdreamsReading some of my lovely flisties comments about how hurt they have been by dreamweaver37 deception, or how they are feeling foolish for giving him their trust - I think there is something very important you should all bear in mind.
Don't feel bad! We all believed him (or wanted to). The only reason I had any doubts was down to having been taken in before by that micamonroe (who apparently is tragically dead according to his still live LJ). When that happened I looked up this syndrome and it is a thing - people often have multiple online identities (though how the hell they keep up with them all I have no idea) and can even use one ID to reinforce the others. Mostly they are harmless but sometimes theycan be malicious - like that woman on Twitter who has a serious personality disorder and has threatened people in real life (my friend Dave being one).
In this case, I think dreamweaver wasn't malicious, he/she was just looking for attention/reinforcement, maybe a feeling of importance? Who knows.
Whatever the reason, please don't feel bad about this - Think of it this way - any emotional investment we had in this person's story was still real because we genuinely thought here was someone who was doing good things that merited our support. The fact that these things may not have been real doesn't negate our sympathy or empathy or any words of support we might have spoken. The fact that the recipient didn't deserve it doesn't mean our actions were worthless. Our own goodness and thoughtfulness in putting together messages of love doesn't change, neither does the intent behind the messages. So his child wasn't real and we mourned - we've mourned fictional characters before and it's good to feel. Human beings need to feel.
We are still good people who had good thoughts and tried to do good things. That is a truth that his lies cannot change.
And don't let it stop you being kind in future. It's a small risk we take that has a huge impact. Loving someone is always a risk - we can't really get hurt if we don't love.
Um, I'll stop moralising now LOL
Don't feel bad! We all believed him (or wanted to). The only reason I had any doubts was down to having been taken in before by that micamonroe (who apparently is tragically dead according to his still live LJ). When that happened I looked up this syndrome and it is a thing - people often have multiple online identities (though how the hell they keep up with them all I have no idea) and can even use one ID to reinforce the others. Mostly they are harmless but sometimes theycan be malicious - like that woman on Twitter who has a serious personality disorder and has threatened people in real life (my friend Dave being one).
In this case, I think dreamweaver wasn't malicious, he/she was just looking for attention/reinforcement, maybe a feeling of importance? Who knows.
Whatever the reason, please don't feel bad about this - Think of it this way - any emotional investment we had in this person's story was still real because we genuinely thought here was someone who was doing good things that merited our support. The fact that these things may not have been real doesn't negate our sympathy or empathy or any words of support we might have spoken. The fact that the recipient didn't deserve it doesn't mean our actions were worthless. Our own goodness and thoughtfulness in putting together messages of love doesn't change, neither does the intent behind the messages. So his child wasn't real and we mourned - we've mourned fictional characters before and it's good to feel. Human beings need to feel.
We are still good people who had good thoughts and tried to do good things. That is a truth that his lies cannot change.
And don't let it stop you being kind in future. It's a small risk we take that has a huge impact. Loving someone is always a risk - we can't really get hurt if we don't love.
Um, I'll stop moralising now LOL
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2015-10-02 12:21 pm (UTC)I've been reading stuff about Munschaussen by Internet for the most part of the evening yesterday, maybe to help me understand better, and I know this can happen -and has happen to a lot of people, putting your trust into someone who reveals not to be real.
I love my friends here,and I hope our little corner of the fandom will not suffer too much from what dreamweaver did to us.
<3
no subject
Date: 2015-10-02 01:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-02 01:27 pm (UTC)OMG that is fucking fantastic! What a perfect term for this sort of self propelled shit-storm.
I am completely unaware of this particular incident, but like others have said, it is certainly not specific to this person or fandom.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-02 07:58 pm (UTC)