100 Days of Happiness - Day 36

[amberdreams]

Well this made me laugh and cheered me up just when I was starting to get depressed by the overwhelming talent of fandom and my own inadequacies in comparison. Perhaps spending all day making an album of fantastic art wasn't the best use of my time! Especially as it left me wondering why the hell I\m bothering when nothing I do is even a tenth as good as the likes of petite_madame or quickreaver.
Click on the pic to see the adorable little story - guaranteed to make you smile!


Don't worry, I'm not fishing for compliments or cheerleading. Being average is what I'm used to after all, I'll settle back into it again tomorrow and be perfectly happy.

Comments

[gorkonelka.livejournal.com]

You as average? You don´t know what average is!!!! You made me really mad now. I saw your work/artwork you did for SPN and it´s not average by any means. Your art has heart...wow :D petite_madame is pure genius and yeah she is "the one and only" but you´ve got the gift too. I would be so soooo happy to draw like you do, cos I´m not able to draw a circle :( this is how average people suck. You are no average! GUH!!! :D

And pink Crowley? ? ? "Sup" :D ------------flat line---------- :)

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Aw thanks for the kick, I was feeling sorry for myself because I always wanted to be able to draw like frigging Michelangelo and all I got was me. LOL

Those chicks are total genius. I laughed out loud when Bobby turned up.

[gorkonelka.livejournal.com]

I don´t know what are you talking about, cos the sheer awesomeness of Sam´s ass is too bright to see past your user pic ;) I would cut my neighbor´s hand for skill you´ve got :) But I know what you mean, high expectations and RL don´t result well in the end.

;)

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

That is the magic of Sam's arse. *nods*

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

LOL. Yup. That ass should be in the National Gallery

Now, listen missy

[yohkobennington.livejournal.com]

Are you serious? You're talented, and you're growing with each fanart you make. I can see the progress, and I bet everybody else does too.

Even Petite always says that it took her YEARS to be as good as she is It took practice, and practice, and practice. And I know you know that, I'm just reminding you.

Everybody is insecure, especially because we're putting something out there for people to see and express their opinions about it.

For the love of Sam's butt, stop thinking you are average because you are not.

Re: Now, listen missy

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

I know practice, practice. I always had this problem, I was never as good as I wanted to be - anyhow you can keep kicking my arse into gear because I have to do your meanttobe next!

[jj1564.livejournal.com]

Snap I just posted this too! It's adorable isn't it??

And I know you weren't fishing for compliments but I think your artwork and writing are fantastic. This may sound weird but I always love your bottoms, ha ha!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

It's looking like bottoms might be becoming my forte. What a pain in the arse... LOL!!

[jj1564.livejournal.com]

Just turn the other cheek hee hee!

[septembers-coda.livejournal.com]

*snort* You two are cracking me up.

Amber, dear, I relate, but no. Just no on the average. I was so glad-- frankly relieved! when I got you as my artist on BP. In exchanges that shall not be named, I've so often gotten someone who just didn't care what they did for me, obviously didn't like my prompts, etc., so when you claimed my prompt I was SO HAPPY.

And I know you weren't fishing for compliments, but SOMETIMES COMPLIMENTS JUMP IN THE BOAT, and you gut them and eat them. (This is a TERRIBLE metaphor. Now who has bad self-esteem?)

Ha ha... I'm a little loopy... but you're good, is all. I'm just sayin'. :-)

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Poor fishy compliments, ending up with their guts in the bottom of the smelly boat! LOL!!!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

It's a bum rap.

[counteragent.livejournal.com]

I really enjoy you in fandom! Not many people art and write with such talent.

When I get down on my abilities, I just remind myself: there are only one quickreaver and one petite madame (or astolat or maichan or whoever you know?) in the WHOLE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. This isn't like, oh most of the people in my local art class in community college are so great. This is like my flist is filled with hand picked geniuses from across the known sentient universe. I know it is, because I literally hand picked them! :) There's no shame paling in comparison. I'm just glad for their light.

...This is what I tell myself. Of course, I worry that perhaps other people think I shouldn't even bother but then I remember fuck them.

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Haha, yes, this. We do what we do and we love and enjoy it. There is always going to be someone (or many someones) that are (or we think are) better than us so why bother. We bother because we've got something to say too and we're going to say it, damn it!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Ha ha usually I do, sorry my happy post turned into a ridiculous wailing wall.

[chomaisky.livejournal.com]

Skills can be honed with time and practice, but generating ideas and maintaining passion are not an additive process. You don't know how much you inspire people. And you don't just draw you write as well! How cool is that ????? I look at all the great writers on my flist and I wish I could have their ideas so I can draw a satisfying story and cross that off my wishlist.
I used to beat myself up over similar problem, but then I realized that I shouldn't wish to be someone else other than myself. There are always someone else in the world, tons of them. If I feel bad for myself everytime I look at what others can do, there'd be too much negative energy for me to move on... now when I encounter some master works I'd think, that's a bad ass dragon, maybe I'll try it in a supernatural context next (yes, right now my mind is to barren to create original art) .
I think you don't have much to worry about because in the end it's ideas that matters and you already got many! You just need to preserve your passion. A friend of mine, a talented and stylish artsit whom I look up to, told me a while ago that from now on she wouldn't draw again, like, on principle. She was trashed by the bleak atmosphere in creative industry here (commercial comics in specific). She'd been drawing for years and she'd become so good. Not everyone can stick to one thing for years and still want to improve and explore. She gave up her passion (maybe it's still there, I don't know, but she consciously avoids it now) because viewers like other artists' works more, and I felt terrible not able to make her change her mind. So, don't feel bad! It's totally unnecessary in any way.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

That is pretty awful about your talented friend wasting her talent by not using it...there's an object lesson for us all I suppose!

Ideas-wise, I'm a magpie, picking up shiny things from everywhere. To paraphrase something I read recently, poor artists copy, great artists steal. So maybe the trick is to copy copy copy until you have enough to steal something and make it yours.

Thank you for the pep talk - I was being an idjit.

[chomaisky.livejournal.com]

No one pulls ideas out of thin air. Drawing upon existant ideas and things is necessary. Even Shakespear did that :)
I bet every one who ever tried to make something had that frustration at some point (I myself still do sometimes), but you'll be fine!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Yes indeed - that's why when some authors get all prissy about fanfiction I get annoyed. The likelihood is their own work is an amalgam of everything they've ever read. Plagiarism is a different matter...

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Come now. If we worried about stacking up to the geniuses we'd never post anything. Petite Madame is in a class by herself but Amber, your art is gorgeous and inspiring. And your writing, especially your drabbles are so powerful. Now that's a talent not many can match and you should be very proud of your ability to rip out a heart in 100 words. :)

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Damn I knew I shouldn't have said anything - I don't usually vent because self pity ain't pretty and it doesn't last long (usually). Do you think I should have Heart Ripper on my tombstone? LOL!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOODNESS! Hee... I'm glad everyone else gave you a kick because if not I would be giving you a HUGE one!! Oh lordy...lordy...! You have an amazing talent! I can't even...*shakes you*... ;D I MEAN .... COME ON! Look at that ass!! O_O :DD

Aaanways. I actually know this feeling. It's tough when someone like PM and QR (and many others!) creates gorgeous works and you think you can never match them - but you are just as gifted hun. AND you are absolutely lovely (and supportive and amazing) to boot! So there...!!

*hugs*

Love the pic. Even little chicks can be SamnDean. :)

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Click on the chicks to see the rest of the story - it's hilarious. Yep I'm duly chastened - dunno why I was in the dumps yesterday (well I kind of do, but it was more to do with aging parent problems than lack of artistic talent!).
And thanks for the support!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

I clicked!! That's TOO adorable! *reblogs*

And sorry to hear you're having problems. Hope things pick up soo. <3

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Cheers my dear - they aren't my problems and nothing is that bad really, I was just having a bit of an overreaction I think. And that chick thing is just genius and has to be shared!

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

We all have days when we're feeling down about ourselves, but I'm sure I'm not alone in saying your art is amazing and we all get a huge amount of pleasure from it.
x

[badbastion.livejournal.com]

I know it's a little late, but I'm catching up on my flist and I wanted to chime in on this. I think all artists go through this - I know I do - and it can be a healthy thing. Sometimes it gets me down, sometimes it just about kills me, but I try to use it as fuel, as motivation. These artists who are amazing, they've been doing it for a long time, and some of them are professionals. When I feel down about my art because I see someone else's amazing stuff, I try to take that feeling and turn it into "I can work harder, I can get better, I just need to keep practicing and not give up."

And also, you are excellent! In the short time I've watched you I've seen a definite improvement in your art (not that it was ever bad, just that you're getting better and better!)

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I think you are right, I am such a lazy bugger, yet I've always been one to get discouraged if I don't get instant results or am not instantly marvellous! LOL I'm really happy you think I am improving - I think watching people like you who are willing to share their processes has helped me too. But actually, I really need to practice a lot more, and do some experimenting. I keep wondering about actually taking some art classes as I've been learning so much more from you guys and from youtube etc than I was ever taught doing art at school!