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amberdreamsMy first chapter by chapter posting. I never normally do this but heck. Why not. i make no promises on when Chapter 2 will arrive.
Warnings: silliness and Chad. Unbetaed!
Rating: this chapter - PG13
ALSO ON AO3
Of Padaleckis and Penguins
The one where Jared wakes up one morning to find a penguin in his hotel bedroom.
Chapter 1 - The Awakening
Jared wakes up in increments. The first stage is a vague awareness that he exists, closely followed by the pained realisation that existence is overrated. He’d swear someone has replaced his brain with a jellyfish and his mouth tastes like rotting fish. Added to which woes, his chest is --weird. Kind of itchy and scratchy and weighed down with something warm but prickly.
Jared cracks open one eye, then the other. Light stabs him in the retinas and he winces, trying to focus. Fuckin’ Chad and his homemade punch. This is seriously the last time Jared will let Chad persuade him to…
“Holy fucking shit!”
Jared absolutely does not scream. He’s just taken by surprise is all. It’s a perfectly normal reaction to finding a live penguin sitting on your chest when you wake up with the hangover from hell. The penguin takes exception to Jared’s flailing and does some of its own, accompanied by some rather piercing protests that don’t help ease Jared’s headache one tiny bit. Though the penguin’s presence might help explain Jared’s brain being overwhelmed by fishy odours since he woke up.
Jared sits up while gingerly grabbing the distressed and squawking bird and placing it on the floor. He grimaces when he notices both his t shirt and the hotel room carpet appear to have been victims of a Jackson Pollock tribute artist who only works in shades of off-white. It looks like his new friend the tiny penguin has been hopping around their room for a while.
Staggering to his feet, Jared makes his way to the en suite, desperately hoping Chad isn’t monopolising the facilities. His body isn’t at all clear whether it wants the toilet for throwing up or pissing in, but in either event, Jared’s need is urgent.
He slips on a generous smear of guano on his way back into the bedroom and curses. Housekeeping are so going to kill them for the mess this damn bird’s made, and Jared is so going to kill Chad, because this is obviously all Chad’s fucking fault.
Except that, apart from the admittedly rather cute penguin, their hotel room is empty, and therefore significantly Chad-free. Said penguin tilts its head and peers at Jared with one squinty blue eye.
“Auk?”
Jared has an epiphany.
“Ohmygod! Chad!”
His stupid best friend has been totally turned into a bird. How could Jared not have realised this from the moment he woke up? Apart from being not much more than a foot tall and kind of slatey-blue, the penguin looks exactly like Chad Michael Murray.
Chapter 2 this way
Warnings: silliness and Chad. Unbetaed!
Rating: this chapter - PG13
ALSO ON AO3
Of Padaleckis and Penguins
The one where Jared wakes up one morning to find a penguin in his hotel bedroom.
Chapter 1 - The Awakening
Jared wakes up in increments. The first stage is a vague awareness that he exists, closely followed by the pained realisation that existence is overrated. He’d swear someone has replaced his brain with a jellyfish and his mouth tastes like rotting fish. Added to which woes, his chest is --weird. Kind of itchy and scratchy and weighed down with something warm but prickly.
Jared cracks open one eye, then the other. Light stabs him in the retinas and he winces, trying to focus. Fuckin’ Chad and his homemade punch. This is seriously the last time Jared will let Chad persuade him to…
“Holy fucking shit!”
Jared absolutely does not scream. He’s just taken by surprise is all. It’s a perfectly normal reaction to finding a live penguin sitting on your chest when you wake up with the hangover from hell. The penguin takes exception to Jared’s flailing and does some of its own, accompanied by some rather piercing protests that don’t help ease Jared’s headache one tiny bit. Though the penguin’s presence might help explain Jared’s brain being overwhelmed by fishy odours since he woke up.
Jared sits up while gingerly grabbing the distressed and squawking bird and placing it on the floor. He grimaces when he notices both his t shirt and the hotel room carpet appear to have been victims of a Jackson Pollock tribute artist who only works in shades of off-white. It looks like his new friend the tiny penguin has been hopping around their room for a while.
Staggering to his feet, Jared makes his way to the en suite, desperately hoping Chad isn’t monopolising the facilities. His body isn’t at all clear whether it wants the toilet for throwing up or pissing in, but in either event, Jared’s need is urgent.
He slips on a generous smear of guano on his way back into the bedroom and curses. Housekeeping are so going to kill them for the mess this damn bird’s made, and Jared is so going to kill Chad, because this is obviously all Chad’s fucking fault.
Except that, apart from the admittedly rather cute penguin, their hotel room is empty, and therefore significantly Chad-free. Said penguin tilts its head and peers at Jared with one squinty blue eye.
“Auk?”
Jared has an epiphany.
“Ohmygod! Chad!”
His stupid best friend has been totally turned into a bird. How could Jared not have realised this from the moment he woke up? Apart from being not much more than a foot tall and kind of slatey-blue, the penguin looks exactly like Chad Michael Murray.
Chapter 2 this way
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Date: 2018-02-18 11:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-19 08:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-18 11:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-19 08:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-19 12:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-19 08:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-19 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-19 08:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-19 08:35 pm (UTC)Hehe, this couldn't be any more entertaining if it tried. I love Jared's reaction to squinty eyed penguin!Chad and I'm looking forward to more :)
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Date: 2018-02-19 08:37 pm (UTC)Why did I post this before it was finished? LOL!!!!
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Date: 2018-02-20 10:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-20 10:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-20 10:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-20 02:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-20 02:34 pm (UTC)Chapter 2 is up now.
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Date: 2018-02-22 03:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-22 08:58 am (UTC)