(no subject)

[amberdreams]

I feel like there's too much going on and I can't really help with any of it.

Uncle Frank's funeral went ok, my cousin John seems to be coping reasonably well, and his cousin Nancy is trying to help him out by staying over for a weekend once a month, as well as ad hoc visits when she can, so at least he's getting some respite from looking after his mum. She's not really aware Frank is dead - they've told her and she gets very upset each time, but then the next moment she's asking has he gone to play golf, or, on the day of the funeral after the crematorium service, was he going to be at the wake afterwards. Basically, she's not going to get it fixed in her head, so if it was me, I'd just not keep reminding her any more.

So I came home yesterday, but today I find out my friend Rachel, who had her first chemo and radio therapy sessions this week, is in A&E because she's had multiple small seizures and her speech centre has been impacted. Her youngest daughter, Anna, took her in last night and was with her until about an hour ago, and is fraught with worry. The hospital (which is the one my Aunty Marg hates with a passion) took over 14 hours to get Rachel into a bed and onto the intravenous steroids which have helped. Anna has finally gone home and Rachel's husband Phil is with her now, but I get the feeling he is bloody useless in a crisis, probably too used to being the one being looked after since he's had a lot of heart problems over the last few years. I've just read up on the effects of radiotherapy and feel slightly better about this - according to Cancer UK, radiotherapy to the brain causes a short term swelling in the treatment area, which raises the pressure in the brain. The oedema can make symptoms worse for a time – and one example they give is seizures. It can give pretty much the same symptoms as the tumour did, which must be fucking terrifying, because whatever people say, you are not going to be able to stop thinking the damn tumour has come back.

Hopefully the steroids will do their job and she can go home feeling more normal.

Then my old friend Mal is back in hospital again with another infection, having only just got home after months in hospital and in nursing homes after his double (or was it triple) heart by-pass. The poor bugger had his 80th birthday in hospital. I really need to get over there and visit him next week. He'll be either stir crazy or depressed or both.

Life, huh? This is why, when I was sitting through the mass at Uncle Frank's funeral, I was getting fucking pissed off at all the God stuff. Seriously. If there really was a God and he was (as they say) omnipotent and omnipresent, I'd fucking kick him in the teeth if I came face to face with him. Stupid incompetent bastard.

Comments

[rockstarpeach.livejournal.com]

Sending hugs your way, sweetie.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm passing them on to everyone else LOL

[anactoria.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

It never rains but it pours, does it? Sending lots of good wishes to you and your friends and family. <33

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thanks, all positive thoughts gratefully accepted :)

[fufaraw]

I'm so sorry. Everything seems darker than usual right now--I'm sorry it's manifesting among your family and friends. I'm sending good thoughts, and hoping for an early spring.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thanks muchly. It's been a crappy year, hopefully 2017 will be much better!

[quickreaver.livejournal.com]

Aw, hang in there, lady. One of the side-effects of getting older is so do our friends.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but our contemporaries aren't supposed to be doing this yet... Sigh. I'm ok, it's everyone else! :)

[somersault-j.livejournal.com]

Man, I am so, so sorry. Hopefully you all can catch a break soon!! :( *hugs*

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thanks me dear, I'm forwarding all the good wishes.

[sillie]

I'm so sorry bb. *hugs* Wishing them all the best. <3

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm channeling good wishes their way. :)

[big-heart-june.livejournal.com]

Please pass on all my good wishes, too, BB. I am very very sorry ♥

i have wanted to kick him in the teeth so soo many times, too

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Yeah, religious people wonder why we don't believe - I can't understand why they do believe. Apart from the comfort it gives to think this life doesn't end when we do, but in that case, why not go for reincarnation instead of some stupid God who wants to be worshipped. I mean, that's dodgy for starters!

[beelikej.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Life sucks, I'm glad you are able to offer some form of support to your family and friends in at least a few of these situations, but yeah. Life. sucks.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

It does indeed, sometimes...

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that all this is going on at the moment. Sometimes these things just some along and completely overwhelm us; I'm keeping everything crossed for you that Rachel and Mal start to feel better soon.
Keep smiling; lets hope that 2017 is a much better year for you all.

I'm totally with you on the God thing too!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thanks me dear. Appreciated!

[amypond45.livejournal.com]

Aw damn, I'm sorry life's doing crappy things for you right now. You surely do not deserve it! Sending happy thoughts your way...

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Heh. It's not really doing crappy things to me (thank goodness) but it sucks that all this crap is happening to people I love. But that's life for ya.

[dear-tiger.livejournal.com]

Holy shit, why is everyone in the hospital or dead? I'm so sorry, hun ♥ Life should never suck this much. I hope your friend Rachel gets out soon and gets over the side effects. That sounds scary, but I'm glad you were able to look it up and be reassured.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

In hospital or dead - that made me laugh. Hopefully there are a few other categories for people to fall into LOL

[kalliel]

Life, indeed. Ugh, I'm so sorry for this shitty maelstrom all around you and yours. :( <3333 I hope clear skies lie very directly and immediately ahead. I love you!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Love you too petal, and wishing the same clear skies for you.

[indiachick.livejournal.com]

All the sounds really sucky. Sending good thoughts your way. <3 Hopefully it all tides over soon.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Hope so! For all of us ((hugs))

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

When I used to volunteer at a senior's residence, it was pretty much standard to NOT tell people things that they a) couldn't comprehend, and b) wouldn't remember in 20 minutes.

Its much kinder, once you know she won't get it, to just say, yes, he's gone golfing.

So sorry about the other crap. You can kick cancer in the teeth while you're on your vengeful rampage. <3

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Good idea, *adds cancer to the lick of kickees*

[deceptivemirror.livejournal.com]

This year in general has not been kind to people. Please hang in there. Vent if you need, and do what you have to do.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

It hasn't... hope 2017 is nicer all round!

[milly-gal.livejournal.com]

Jeebus, that's a LOT!
I'm sending you and everyone who needs them, lots of hugs and good health and healing vibes. ♥

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

I left out my cousin's wife's visa troubles, and my other cousin's friend dying at only 40 something...and Paul's mum being ill, my cousin Michelle worrying about her daughter getting her five kids back and not being able to cope... LOL

[milly-gal.livejournal.com]

Good lord woman, how much can one person deal with O.o

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Lucky it's not me having to cope with all this then, ain't it! At least the problems are spread over a bunch of folk.

[milly-gal.livejournal.com]

I know, but still O.o

[zara-zee.livejournal.com]

Oh no. Sending positive energy to your friends and family. That's a lot of upsetting stuff going on around you, it's definitely distressing. I hope things start to come good for everyone.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

I hope so too! For all of us...

How are things with you?

[de-nugis.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry this is all happening at once. Hugs to you.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

*Hugs you back*

How are things with your mum?

[de-nugis.livejournal.com]

Not great, but not immediately disastrous. We won't really know until they do the next PET scan if the chemo they're doing is slowing down the cancer; we know it's not curable at this point, but there doesn't seem to be much certainty apart from that. There's a lot she can still do and enjoy doing, though it's more bad days and not too bad days than good days at this point.

Aging and illness suck.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Indeed they do suck. That sounds like the best outcome you could get, given the circumstances. I'll keep everything crossed that the chemo is working and the many good days continue.

[madebyme-x.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about all of this, and that's all happening now. Take care of yourself, and please pass on all my best wishes and thoughts ♥

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thank you! All positive energy is very welcome.

[hugemind.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry that all of this is happening. *hugs* I fully agree with the teeth-kicking.