Remembering Rachel

[amberdreams]

It would have been Rachel's birthday today, so I trawled back through my horribly self obsessed and angsty and pompous diaries for a few fun snippets.

Diary entries

Aged 11

1972 May Saturday - 4 Jumble sales went to 2. Got so much stuff had to get the bus home with Rachel.

Sunday - Rachel and I tried to build a hut in the "Hokeys". We gave ourselves beards from crayon I was a miner she was a Frenchman.

Aged 12-13

1973 - Went to Sudley Park with Rachel, Rosemary and Catherine. Rachel got a fright because their dog Toby was in the field and it attacks her. It didn't though. We gave R & C piggybacks + had wheelbarrow races, piggyback races + shoulder ride races. C is great at wheelbarrows. R wiggles her bum so much she looks as if she's trying to swim!

Went to Hydes with Rachel. She was going to led me 1 1/2 p from the change because the bread was only 7 1/2p instead of 10 1/2p but they didn't have any 1 1/2p lolly ices, so I asked to borrow 2p. I asked for a smash + he gave me mashed pot. And then after that he didn't have ANY lolly ices! We ended up buying a cider one at the sweet shop + it turned out we got it free! Cause he'd given us too much change in Hydes.

Aged 13-14

1974 August - Quarreled with Rachel. She had to go to town, but Mum wouldn't let me go cos of room (being untidy) sp R went off in a huff.

Aged 14-15

1975 - any given Sunday... Went to the launderette with Rachel; listened to the Top Twenty (or the Beatles, Jesus Christ Superstar or Simon & Garfunkel) with Rachel; played monopoly with Rachel; had argument with Rachel...

28th Jan - Rachel came round at about 6.15(pm). She told me she'd run away. She'd been arguing with her mum, and she told her that she wouldn't go back home, and her mum said 'don't'. She had been to school and the library and now she'd come here. Just after she came, Richard called. I told him she wasn't here. She wished she hadn't said anything, but she was too scared to go home. About nine o'clock her mum called to see if I knew Clare Hughes' address. Mum and Dad were home now + didn't know R was here. When Mrs Henney had gone Dad told R to go home but she didn't. She told me she went to Bootle by bus and followed the 61 route home. She didn’t get home until 10 or 11.

Aged 15-16

1976 - February. Rachel came round and we went for a walk in Sudley Field. We were supposed to be getting grass for the guinea pig but there wasn't any worth picking yet. We walked very slowly up to the museum and decided to go in....what a treasure house it is.

It was funny when we went in, the curators were following us around because we looked dead scruffy. I just wore my jeans, a t shirt that was too big and a rather shapeless corduroy jacket. Rachel had this tartan print skirt which was really her little sister Rosemary's, a big baggy t shirt of her Dad's and a jacket belonging to her brother Richard. No wonder they followed us around.

1976 May. At the last minute we decided to go to a dance/disco at the Polytechnic. It took us ages to pluck up the courage to go in, Rachel wanted me to take the lead, which I did eventually. It was quite a disappointment, it took so long to warm up. The first group, Muscles - their music was all the same and got really boring. Nobody liked it, and everyone just stood around spilling beer in big puddles. You felt like a traitor if you danced. As soon as Muscles had gone everyone livened up and me and Rachel got two dances in a row. Rachel fancied one, she christened him Kenny Everett or Red Pumps! I kept my glasses on and I’m glad I did, cos the lead singer of the second group, the Steve Gibbons Band, was rather good looking.

So many memories, good and bad. I haven't transcribed any of the miserable entries when we were arguing and out of friends, though. Whatever was going on, Rachel was always there, even though we were at different schools and it sometimes felt we lived in different worlds. It feels so wrong that she's no longer anywhere.

Comments

[milly-gal.livejournal.com]

You, and she, are in my thoughts *hugs* The idea that someone who you've known your entire life is no longer there for those random moments where you just need to touch base, it's heartbreaking, but she lives on in your memories of her, and your love for her. I'm here if you need a chat hun x

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thanks me dear, I appreciate it. I'm ok - just sad.

[milly-gal.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I can imagine, and I'm sending you lots of snuggly thoughts. It's okay to be sad, though, because sadness just means the person who's gone meant a lot to you x

[somer.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing this. Memories are so important! <3

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

They are indeed - I'm so glad I kept diaries, even if they were a bit on and off over those years. My memory isn't the best! LOL

[fufaraw]

It's a touchstone, to have someone in your life who's always been there. And you do feel unmoored when they aren't there anymore.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Unmoored is a good analogy. Thanks me dear.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

I love that you kept a journal as a kid! Such a gift (and curse) to be able to go back as see your life and thoughts back then.

Bless

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

It is - I read the entries and crack up laughing - but at the same time, in some ways I still feel exactly the same ridiculous feelings sometimes, and probably haven't changed as much as I like to think I have! Man, but I was such a little know it all. LOL!

[jj1564.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing this, it made me smile in places as we were so easily pleased back in those days, with no laptops or i-phones - I don't think many 12-13 year olds now would amuse themselves with piggyback and wheelbarrow races! I think we had much more fun.

I'm so sorry that Rachel isn't here for you to share your memories with, but this is a lovely way to remember her on her birthday.

*hugs*

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

I got some smiles out of this too - so yay! One thing that struck me was where I was talking about someone calling I meant calling round in person because we didn't have a phone, and Rachel's family didn't either! I'm sure people reading this will assume I meant ringing us up!

[jj1564.livejournal.com]

It's hard to remember the days without a phone, we're so used to having them now! We didn't have one until I was about 15, so it was use the phone box or ask a neighbour!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

We didn't get a telly until I was 14/15 but we were even later with a phone - I think they didn't get one until I was in 6th form. In fact it might have been even after I went to Uni!. We used to have to walk down to the phone box at the bottom of our road.

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

i've lost touch with pretty much everyone i knew when i was eleven, so the fact that you and rachel stayed friends is fantastic. i'm so sorry she's gone. *hugs*

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me too. She moved into the house opposite my bedroom window when we were both aged 6, and we were glued at the hip from then until we were 18, when we both moved away from home. We weren't great at keeping in touch (if only there had been emails and Facebook then!) but we both still considered each other as a best friend because we'd just pick up where we left off when we got together.

It's weird - the past can't be changed so I'll always have that version of Rachel, but it's still unsettling and sad that there's not going to be a new past created from now on. If that makes any sense!

[madebyme-x.livejournal.com]

I think this is such a lovely thing to do to remember Rachel on her birthday. Diaries are such a treasure trove of memories and I hope they put a smile on your face!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

I did have a laugh at a lot of my entries - dearie me, what a blinkered existence I led...