Summergen Alpha/beta required!

[amberdreams]

I've done something I'm not at all sure about and I'd love someone to give it a look over... I'm wondering if it could/should be expanded, whether the premise works at all, is it too pretentious? Oh and does it kind of meet the prompts I've been given?
Screening replies just in case!

Update to say: THANKS to all the volunteers, you know who you are... I'm trying to email the first of you right now, but my email is playing silly buggers.