Breathing in, Bleeding out

[amberdreams]

Breathing in, Bleeding Out

Sam: It’s too hard, too much
You push, you pull, you never let go
And the pressure of your love weighs heavy
So I can’t breathe

In


Dean: I try hard, too much
I know, I feel, I can’t ever stop
And the pressure of my love cuts deep
So all I do is bleed

Out


Sam: I went away, I even died
I ran, I cried, I never looked back
But you followed me wherever I went
Made me breathe

In


Dean: I died for you, I lied to you
I pushed, I pulled, I never let go
But I ran onto your knife, let you stab me deep
Until my heart bled

Out

Breathing in, bleeding out.



 

Comments

[chomaisky.livejournal.com]

Oh, very unhealthy relationship...
Love the form of it! I can almost hear the heartbeat in the background.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

So unhealthy, but we love it...!

[sanshal.livejournal.com]

lovely, melancholic.
Thanks for sharing!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Seems I was in a melancholy mood yesterday! Thanks for reading.

[zara-zee.livejournal.com]

Perfect. The imagery is just...spot on. Sam suffocates and Dean bleeds out, but they just can't not breathe in tandem, no matter the cost...

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Or maybe they can, but only occasionally, and then it must feel so fantastic...to have a moment of synergy.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's perfect. Beautifully captures the boys' relationship.

(I'd love to see this printed on a graphic. It would make a lovely Tumblr post too...;D)

Thanks so much for sharing. <3

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Really? Mmm you are giving me ideaz.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Yeah, really. Something atmospheric that captures the feel of the poem...;)

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

I'll have to think about it - this one was all the words for me, I didn't actually have a single image in my head.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Oh don't mind me (i've been on tumblr too long!). The words are enough. Perfect as they are. :)

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

But now you've put the thought in my head and something might pop in there...

[ash48.livejournal.com]

haha - that's what happens when someone give me a song. ;)

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

nice work -- very powerful!

yay fan poetry!! :)

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Heh heh poetry happens occasionally! :D

[borgmama1of5.livejournal.com]

Poetry and Winchesters aren't something I normally think of together--but this is them in a nutshell!

Hauntingly perfect!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

There is something epic and therefore poetic about their lives... :D

[freya922.livejournal.com]

Beautifully done and very powerful,

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much!

[el1ie.livejournal.com]

Wonderfully clever play on words.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thanks, it's great you think so!

[ar-richardson.livejournal.com]

Beautiful, raw words you've penned here - and it sums up their relationship perfectly.

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's amazing. I like that very, very much--I love the way you've written it..

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It was an experiment that kind of worked.

[soserendipity.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, I love this! So many feelings and incidents condensed into these few lines, they pack quite the punch. I'm currently tied up with some art sets I have to finish but you know, this might have been exactly the nudge the muses needed to get back into the mood for the spn_cinema thing that never was (the Hero one). Finally! It'll have to wait till the other stuff is done but hell yes, I'm doing it! Thank you!!!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Hero!! Yes, you should, I think it will be epic.

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

God, that's beautiful...

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thank you! (It now has art too)

[sam-dean-lover.livejournal.com]

wow that is very powerful...wow..

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[soncnica.livejournal.com]

Oh well wow ... this was like a direct hit in the gut! Loved the "in out" finishing the um verse? (I suck at what is what in poetry, lol) but yeah, i loved how it all connected and made the poem flow amazingly!

S.