amberdreams: (Bum)
[personal profile] amberdreams
It seems that, for all my grumbling, this episode gave me the FEELs. So here's drabble #2 which is a cheating double.

Title: all I need's a whisper in a world that only shouts
Words:200
Warnings: Dream sequence, spoilers



Sam dreams Dean’s dead. He’s holding the body – again. It never gets easier. Sam’s rocking, gently, back and forth. Like one of those traumatised Romanian orphans he’d seen on the news when they were kids. Someone’s talking, but he can’t understand them; can’t listen.  It’s all just meaningless noise, words that don’t make any sense. All about necessity, and unacceptable risk, and how it was what Dean wanted. As if what Dean wanted ever made any sense either.

Dean had doubted him, doubted Sam’s love because Dean’s core was corrupted, its data infected by a virus a long time before Hell, or Purgatory, or the Mark. Sure, Dean’s heart was full of love, and courage, and loyalty. But Dean’s base code was interspersed with lines that spoke of a self worth so low it made Marvin the Paranoid Android look like a positive-thinker guru. Dean would scoff at the cliché, but without an element of self-respect, that love was always going to burn in all the wrong ways. And Dean was always going to crash, lost in the blue screen of death.

When Sam wakes up, slumped over his laptop, nothing has changed. His head is still full of noise.




Title from Whispers by Passenger

Date: 2014-12-10 08:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tifaching.livejournal.com
I hope you're coming up with something light and fluffy for the E/O prompt this week because you are killing me with these. Sam knows Dean down to his core. Perfect.

Date: 2014-12-10 09:00 pm (UTC)
frozen_delight: (demon!dean)
From: [personal profile] frozen_delight
Sam! Dean! Just kill me dead already!
This bit here is my favourite:
And Dean was always going to crash, lost in the blue screen of death.

Date: 2014-12-10 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
Mmm I'm sure I can find a way to make peppermint doleful...

Date: 2014-12-10 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
Thanks - I've no idea where the computer thing came from but I'm glad it worked!

Date: 2014-12-10 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madebyme-x.livejournal.com
So powerful! It's beautiful and painful that Sam knows Dean so well.

You aced this!

Date: 2014-12-10 11:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] borgmama1of5.livejournal.com
This hurts.

A lot.

This Could Be the Saddest Dusk

Date: 2014-12-11 02:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] livejournal.livejournal.com
User [livejournal.com profile] quickreaver referenced to your post from This Could Be the Saddest Dusk (http://quickreaver.livejournal.com/104819.html) saying: [...] and HERE [...]

Date: 2014-12-11 02:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yohkobennington.livejournal.com
Oh man, poor Sammy D:

No title

Date: 2014-12-11 03:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] livejournal.livejournal.com
User [livejournal.com profile] quickreaver referenced to your post from No title (http://spn-x.livejournal.com/20738.html) saying: [...] and HERE [...]

Date: 2014-12-11 10:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anactoria.livejournal.com
Love what you did with the imagery here. It's so powerful. Ouch.

Date: 2014-12-11 11:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
Uh huh. Fraid so.

Date: 2014-12-11 11:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
Thanks so much!

Date: 2014-12-11 11:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
I know, sorry...but then quickreaver made it worse! LOL

Date: 2014-12-11 11:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
Yes, inside out by now, I think.
Edited Date: 2014-12-11 11:22 am (UTC)

Date: 2014-12-11 01:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gidgetgal9.livejournal.com
Poor broken Sammy. :(

Date: 2014-12-12 07:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strgazr04.livejournal.com
I love this so much. The computer references make so much sense coming from Sam. One day I wish canon would reflect these thoughts. Personally, I'm not sure if either of the brothers actively understands this depth to their relationship and the complexities of it the way you clearly do.

Date: 2014-12-12 09:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
Got to love our broken boys...

Date: 2014-12-12 09:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
I think maybe they have a subconscious knowledge... and maybe Sam has thought about it, as he tends to analyse things more than Dean does.
Glad you liked it!

Date: 2014-12-13 04:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tifaching.livejournal.com
LOL, I did. Can't wait to see what you come up with!

Date: 2014-12-13 01:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reggie11.livejournal.com
The computer analogies were perfect. Oh my heart.

Date: 2014-12-13 06:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
Ah thanks, glad you liked that one.

Date: 2014-12-16 12:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ash48.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for following that up with Sam's POV. *heartclench* Love Sam's thoughts on Dean. and if it happened like this I think they might finally be able to let each other go. *more sobbing*

xx

Date: 2014-12-16 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
I think, maybe, they are getting close to that point where they might be able to let go... If only we could think their souls might be reunited in a better place, but knowing the state Heaven's in...

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