So sorry, dear. <3 :-( I know that all the arrangements and worrying about family and other people are just a distraction from proper grieving, but I was surprised to find that the funeral DID help. When you get there and see how many people were affected by your dad and loved him, when people who don't usually hug you do, when there's a space where the tears are SUPPOSED to flow, when that damn music stabs you in the heart and you just let it, it's a release. I hope it's so for you, and I hope it feels like a celebration of his life, and that you're surrounded by love.

As for the random weepiness, I was SO RIGHT THERE. I mean, still sometimes. When I talked to my mom about how she's doing now, and she told me it's getting a little better-- BAM! floods. :-} It will be like that, and it's OK for it to be like that. If it doesn't sound weird... on a level, try to enjoy it. I did. For me it was nice to have a socially acceptable excuse to just let it flow, be as emotional as I wanted, and on a level, I've always enjoyed an intensity of sadness as the opposite pole to wild joy, creating a balance and allowing me to fully feel both, if that makes sense. I hope you can find some solace in that. <3 <3

And I'm so glad there was fun to be had and hugs to be gotten and love to be shared. We're all thinking of you! <3